Chrissy, I want to talk to you
I want to get to talk about our boys
And laugh in discomfort and adoration
I want to talk about soft clothing
And how that’s the only thing we want to touch our babies’ skin
I want to talk about Doug and Sean
And how they get us and we get them
I want to talk about purple
And how pretty it looks against our skin
I want to talk about nursing
And how you delivered babies
I want to talk about how you show up for women as they birth
I want to get to talk about babies
And how there is nothing more important on earth
I want to talk about never feeling good enough and having a hard time showing up in this world
I want to talk about how much we love our dads
And how painful it is to watch them get sick and know we all miss them with all our hearts
I want to talk about how much we love childhood
And how we’d give anything to go back
I want to talk about our first loves
And how they broke our hearts
I want to talk about our siblings and how we wish we knew how to be close because we love them so much
I want talk about pain and loneliness and the confusion that isolation brings
Even as it feels the safest and only way to exist
I want to talk about the beach in the summer and lying by the pool
And the feeling of the sun and a really good tan
I want to talk about the ecstasy of flip-flops And wish we could wear them all year around
I want to talk about music and the songs that only you tell me exist
The ones that speak to me as you speak to me, love in this large abyss
Tag: poetry
Softness
Spring, misting rain, white crocuses
And a thick carpet of green grass
A rabbit with grey hair and a white cottontail
Crouching not far from me across the grass
I was sure if I touched the rabbit’s fur
It would feel as soft as my beautiful boy’s hair
In the rare moments he lets me linger there
Inhaling the moment wistfully wondering
What if we can just stay there
This time, standing, I stopped and starred
Caught in the same thought
What if we can just stay here
Just stay here and stare
I wanted to share this poem and I would love to hear feedback if you want to share with me. I don’t have much experience with poetry, but I keep trying to learn and write poetry because I love how it allows me to express my experiences, values, and emotions, and feel connected to myself and others. That universal human experience kind of connection. The feeling of being whole, grounded, and timeless in the universe. I would love to hear what you love about poetry or what it means in your life too.
For a little background, I wrote this poem when my son was two. In some ways my life isn’t too much different now than it was then. My son is a little older and I have a second child now, but I think it was a moment in time that I was experiencing a shift in myself and my inner world.
We were taking a walk, like we did most days in our neighborhood that spring. That day we were clad in rain boots and rain jackets watching the storm drains with rushing waterfalls, finding small rocks to throw in and hear the kerplunck each time the rock hit the water (thank you DPW workers for cleaning those out from time to time), exploring the small “rivers” that formed in the dirt road from rain over night, and splashing in puddles we found. We had stopped in the neighbors yard next door to admire some of the flowers, green grass, and bunnies there. I wrote this poem in a little notebook that was in my pocket, while my son was engrossed in watching a bunny eating grass a few feet away.
I’m not sure if this poem is done or not. I am not sure if I want to make it into a certain form of poem. I keep coming back to it and trying new things, but this is its original form. I will let you know if I find a way to recreate this poem that feels finished to me in the future!
